Story by Rose Lichter-Marck/Drawing by Marjainez

http://rookiemag.com/2013/07/two-kinds-of-memory/

Story by Rose Lichter-Marck/Drawing by Marjainez

http://rookiemag.com/2013/07/two-kinds-of-memory/

Celebrate the centennial year of the Antidefamation League

Like Alexandria Goddard says, "...it's okay to be the lone man standing as long as you STAND."

"All of this happened, and I'm still here."

Two books I read in the last couple of weeks have been living in my head ever since.  I'd been struggling to write a blog post about the first one when I read the second one.  That's when I realized they go together.  Different stories, different voices.  Here is what is the same: Loneliness.  Bullying.  Shame.  Identity.  Saving yourself.

So I've tried to write about these two books.  They feel important.  I hope you read them.


Uses for Boys by Erica Lorraine Scheidt

The first thing I think of when I try to explain this book is the scene in The Breakfast Club where Andrew (the Jock) asks Allison (the Basket Case) about her parents.

ANDREW

So what's wrong? What is it? Is it bad?  Real bad? Parents?

ALLISON
Yeah...

ANDREW
What do they do to you?

ALLISON 
They ignore me...



Anna tells herself the story of how it used to be, when she and her mom lived together and were the whole world to one another. Before her mom was dating one man after the other and stopped coming home. Now Anna lives in a big house in a nice neighborhood. To fill up all that space she leaves on the television and all the lights. She covers the walls of her room with magazine pictures of happy families, happy girls.  Then she discovers that if you do things boys want, they'll stay around.  For a while, anyway.

You don't have to have used sex to find love to understand Anna.  You just have to have been really alone.  So alone that you'll be what someone else wants, risk losing yourself.  Or maybe you think what you are isn't worth very much.  Isn't that why you're alone?

Love is both the easiest and the hardest thing to do.  What Anna wants most -- a family -- seems so simple to ask for.  It's the commercials on TV, the ads in magazines.  It's the beginning of all our stories.  So why, like love, should family be so hard to find?

The Sweet Revenge of Celia Door by Karen Finneyfrock
The summer between 8th grade and freshman year, Celia turned Dark.  Every day she puts on her Darkness like armor.  Celia isn't going to be what she was in the 8th grade: someone who did what people told her to do, someone who went along with the popular kids.  And she's going to get revenge.

What Celia doesn't plan for is a best friend.  Drake says he isn't in town for long, only until he gets off the waitlist for an art school in New York City.  Celia dreads Drake's departure, or worse.  She worries that he will find out why she has no friends.

***

I finished this book on Friday.  On Saturday I read it again.  I thought, from what I knew about this book when I started it, that I would be in tears at the end.

That's not what happened.  Instead I remembered.

I switched schools in the middle of 7th grade.  You know 7th grade? by the middle of the year everyone's got friends, has a group they're a part of.  I was quiet and dressed in my imagined version of Victorian London, using my mom's old clothes.  I couldn't be more uncool, for 7th grade.  Unless I stopped bathing, maybe.  Those next couple of months were among the worst of my life.  I tried laughing off the names people called me.  I tried ignoring them.  I spent lunchtime in the library.  I begged to go back to my old school.

I was Celia.  In so many ways and in the very worst way (if you read this book you'll know what I'm talking about) I was Celia.

I wasn't as brave as her though.  Things died down after those first couple months.  I changed how I dressed, though it was still a while before I got it right.  I found a group, not the cool kids, but friendly.  And I never stuck up for anyone who was tormented after me.  I never thought about that until I read this book.

This is how we start to go Dark.  This is when you get angry and anger never really leaves you.  You don't even know you're carrying it around all the time, but you are.  There isn't a single person on this planet who hasn't witnessed some version of this and I'll bet all I have that most of us are bystanders.  If you aren't, if you can do what Celia does, then you're amazing, because speaking out is incredibly hard.

It shouldn't be.  It should be like family, like love -- something so simple, so basic, it should be easy to open your hand and give it away.  Can something be easy and necessary at the same time?

Maybe first you have to save yourself.  Write the poem, draw the picture, tell yourself the story of how you want your life to be.  Become the person for whom alone does not mean lonely.  Then you'll be able to help save someone else.  It's still hard, but I hope it gets easier.

Today and Everyday

On the other hand, I love Valentines Day. I love it so much.


I like good love. Romantic love and platonic love and familial love that defies logic. I like angst and the gut wrenching heartache. I like watching people dance, and falling in love with them even if I don't know them. I like how when we made scratch off valentines here in the Teen Room yesterday you guys really stepped up for love -- for boyfriends, girlfriends, crushes, moms, friends, best friends, best friends forever and platonic life partners. Totally worth getting out the construction paper once a year. Cut those hearts.

So, in honor of this holiday that I like way more than any grown woman should, let me present the only thing that never fails to make me swoon. Duckie Dale 4 EVA.

Keep being sweet to each other, guys. You're doing a great job. <3

Eat more candy...

So, maybe you're not a big fan of today.  I feel you.  You can get through it, though, by eating those chocolate hearts and listening to some Joan Jett.



(If you're really having a rough day, you can listen to this one instead.  Then put on your leather pants and run around outside -- fresh air makes everything better!)

Also, do something nice for somebody else.  Also, we'll be having a movie and popcorn here in the Teen Room at 3:00PM.

Also, tomorrow is FRIDAY.  And it's a looooong weekend.

Start Off the School Year RIGHT, Folks.

With little intrigue, a little affair of the heart. Amour. I'm talking about love, people, or lust. I'm talking about romancey pants swoonytimes books. We've got a lot of new ones to go along with our still-as-good-as-ever old ones. A little something for everyone, I think.

Sweet and Innocent

I'm not sure why there is a cookie on the cover of this book, because Hudson, our heroine is a cupcake gourmet. That aside, what you see is what you get -- a sweet (BITTERSWEET!) story about a former competitive ice skater, who hangs up her skates for good after her parent's divorce. Totally done. Never again. She spends her time helping out in her mom's diner, and trying to forget the almost-a-star life she left behind.

Lately, though, she's been sneaking to the pond and skating a little. Just a little. It's her little secret until she smacks into the captain of the school's hockey team out on the ice. Then everything changes. Talked into using her mad ice skills to get the hockey team ready for the season (like this!), Hudson goes from quiet days spent baking to juggling her new life, her old life, two boys, her mother's failing diner, and a best friend who is getting lost in the shuffle. It's swoony and sweet and will make you want a cupcake.

Sexytimes, Holy Smokes

Jersey Angel by Beth Ann Bauman is a different kind of book. Angel lives with her swinging single mom and two little siblings, their beach-kissed life spread over three houses on the Jersey shore. In the summer they make serious bank renting out two of the houses and all cram into the one. In the off season, though, Angel lives on her own in one of the houses, and let me tell you, trouble ensues. By trouble I mean sexytimes. Whoa.

Angel can't quite stay away from the boyfriend she keeps breaking up with, but he's had it with her shenanigans. She cares about him, or wants to care about him, but the truth of the matter is she just really likes to have sex and doesn't think she should have to apologize for it. She's comfortable with her philosophy until she trysts with her good-girl best friend's boyfriend, setting off a chain of events that make her wonder if she's gone too far. Short, steamy, and thought provoking, this is the perfect book to transport you back to the beach as the weather starts to get cooler.

The Tearjerker

A family spends one last summer at their lake house together. For sad reasons. This is one of those love stories that you don't even want to get fluttery about, because everything else happening in the book is so heartbreaking. If you like to have a good cry once in a while, and need a little swoon to go with it so you don't choke on those tears, this book is for you.  

Valentine's Day & the safe side of love

Hey guys.  I'm not anti-love, anti-romance, or even anti-Valentine's Day, so long as the baked goods keep coming.  This post is totally pro-love, it's just that sometimes love is freaksome and sometimes it is embarrassing.  But we should all get over it so we can get to the good stuff.  Proceed!

MTV's GYT (Get Yourself Tested) site tells you what you need to know about STDs, getting tested, and having that awkward conversation with your guy or girl.  If it's really love, you both will see beyond the awkwardness and be super-glad you made the effort!  No joke.

On the topic of healthy relationships, there's been a lot of discussion about Chris Brown's appearance at the Grammy Awards.  Some think he's penitent and should be given a second chance.  Some think the aftermath of the 2009 assault is strictly between him and Rihanna.  Some think he shouldn't have been on stage because his performance was garbage.

All worthy conversation topics, so have at it!  Let's just all agree that someone smashing you in the face is not romantic.



OK. If you or anyone you know, male or female, is in an abusive relationship YOU CAN GET HELP.  It won't mean that you are stupid or wrong or don't deserve love. 

Because to finish up with a line from another celebrated Grammy performer, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all."  Go eat candy.  And brush your teeth afterwards.

Speaking of romance...

Jane Austen is the ORIGINAL bring-the-swoon lady, yo!  Why is she still such a force after all these years?  Not only are her books continuing to be made into films and television miniseries, but they have been lovingly adapted in countless novels.

Well now three young adult authors, no strangers to bringing the swoon themselves, are going to analyze the matter.  You can tune in and hear Shannon Hale, E. Lockhart, and Elizabeth Eulberg tonight at 8:00PM over at Figment!

If you are looking for some Jane tributes, check one of these out:
Epic Fail by Claire LaZebnik
Prom and Prejudice by Elizabeth Eulberg
Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
The Cookbook Collector by Allegra Goodman
Death Comes to Pemberley by P.D. James


And if you're looking for a contender to Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy, check out Richard Armitage in North and South.  If your laptop doesn't burst into flames from the repressed Victorian lovepants action, then it's already broken.

Valentines Week: IT'S ON

I LOVE Valentines Day. I love the candy. I love the paper hearts. I love that crinkly cellophane that seems to be all over everything. I love flowers. I love the little mailboxes kids make in elementary school. I love that episode of The Simpsons where Ralph gives Lisa a valentine that says "I Choo Choo Choose You" (and there's a picture of a train). I also love how I can just go FULL FORCE in recommending my favorite teen romances. Swoon. Oh my gosh. Swoon.

Let's start with a new one. Have you read this? It's got action and mystery and two kids against the world, trying to take down a deliciously evil regime. But you won't even notice all that because this is the most fluttery, breathless, hand-to-your-heart love story I've read in ages. I'm not going to tell you more. Ask for it by name: Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi.

p.s. She does not wear an evening gown at any point in this book, FYI.

Breaking Up

So, there's book coming out at the end of the year, and it's about a breakup. A horrible, heart wrenching breakup. The kind that can only come at the end of an amazing, exciting, against-all-odds, oh-my-god-all-my-friends-hate-me-because-i-am-obnoxiously-in-love love. This book tells both stories, the beginning and the end. At the same time.

It's a pretty great book. It's by Daniel Handler (who you THINK you haven't heard of, but trust me, you have). It also has illustrations (illustrations!) by the amazing Maira Kalman. If you like love stories, sad stories, realistic stories, funny stories and beautiful art, this book is for you, trust me.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Mr Handler has started a website where people can share their own breakup stories -- both regular people AND your favorite authors. I kind of expected it to be funny and goofy, and some of the stories are, but it's also sad, true, beautiful and most of all (worst of all), familiar.

Check it out guys. Laugh/cry.

The Half Life of Planets

Her deal: on the last day of school, Liana finds a one-word note in her locker and that word is slut.  Sure, Liana's kissed a lot of boys, but is that who she really is?  And why is the kissing easy, but everything else is so hard?  As a scientific endeavor, Liana resolves to go kiss-free all summer.  Then she meets Hank.

His deal: Hank can tell you all you want to know (and quite a bit you don't) about rock music recorded before 2003.  But he can't talk to girls.  Actually, he has a hard time talking to anybody because he has Asperger's syndrome.  Then he meets Liana.

There have been quite a few co-authored young adult novels set up in alternating He said, She said chapters.  It is a fun idea, but only if the switchbacks are seamless.  If the authors are too intent on showcasing their style I get thrown out of the story itself: Now I'm reading so-and-so's chapter; I can tell by the relentless witty banter and 80s pop culture references.

Emily Franklin and Brendan Halpin keep Half-Life balanced.  I don't know who wrote what and I don't care, I just want to know if Hank and Liana are going to work things out and start kissing already.

If you aren't having a great one already, this book showcases some of the best things about summer: hanging out on the boardwalk, playing skeeball, water fights, eating too much candy, outdoor concerts, and possibly falling in love.  Painful, nausea-inducing, freakout, amazing love.  Yeah.

Stuck on You

We will be making duct tape roses this Valentines Day, starting at 3:00!

Speaking of duct tape, the Stuck at Prom contest is coming soon. You can win cash money, to say nothing of the stone cold awesomitude of having a duct tape prom outfit.