Wednesday Tech Tips Gets Cranky, Goes Rogue, Talks About Books Instead

Y'all, it's been some busy times.  There was henna tattooing, karaoke-ing, graduation, and the onslaught of summer reading.  Also, it just won't stop raining and I have perpetual crazy-hair.

I'm pooped.  And I need a break from wrassling with Internet Explorer, otherwise I'm going to put on a yellow jumpsuit, strap a katana to my back, and drive to Seattle to have "words" with Bill Gates.

But I have been getting a lot of reading done!  Yes, let's talk about friendly and bandwidth-free books.  Here's what I've finished over the last several weeks:

How to Lead a Life of Crime by Kirsten Miller
For starters, run away from home.  Take up petty theft to survive.  Get recruited by the Mandel Academy, whose classes include assassination techniques, drug smuggling and computer hacking.  Just make sure you keep your grade point average up; low-performing students don't...graduate.


Far Far Away by Tom McNeal
Both love and evil can hide in plain sight.  A chilling mystery glossed with fairytale magic, narrated by the ghost of Jacob Grimm.


Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong by Prudence Shen & Faith Erin Hicks
What COULD go wrong?
Cheerleaders vs. the Science Team.  Devious student government campaigns.  Robot battles.  And "borrowing" the car to ditch your entire family on Thanksgiving.


Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
This book wrecked my heart by page 42.  All the truth of love -- the fearfulness and the immensity of it -- is in this story.  Eleanor and Park prove that you don't lose yourself in love, you find your best self.

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo
Sometimes I want to throw my hands up and yell, "No more Chosen One fantasy, please!"  And then Leigh Bardugo comes along and changes the game up.  A good candidate for holding off until the sequel is on the shelf,* because you are going to want to know what happens right away. 

Rot & Ruin by Jonathan Maberry
Life after First Night is all Benny Imura has ever known.  Inside the fence is civilization.  Outside are the zoms and the Rot and Ruin.  That's what Benny's always thought to be the truth up until now.  But after becoming his brother Tom's apprentice, Benny is about to discover what really makes a monster...and what really makes a man.


Hawkeye: My Life as a Weapon by Matt Fraction, et. al.
You can keep your Man of Steel.  I prefer a superhero who worries about the rent and ends up in the hospital once in a while, just like the rest of us.  In between, Hawkeye kicks some serious butt and adopts a dog, in this wildly popular comic.  I also applaud David Aja's pure and direct artwork.








*The sequel IS on the shelf, and Ms. Bardugo will be here this Saturday with Fierce Reads, so have at it.

A plea to book jacket designers everywhere

Enough.  ENOUGH.

Y'all are a bunch of lazy, unimaginative, stock-photo abusing hacks.  Can't you even be bothered to send an intern into Barnes & Noble to see which photos are already being used?  Do you know how many kids ask for books and don't know the author or the title and are trying to track down a book with a description of the cover?  "Girl in a floofy dress" is not going to get anyone very far...

There have been a zillion blog posts about this already, but COME ON.  It was funny for a while, and was the inspiration for many a book display*, but it's getting to the point where one can't even tell what the freaking heck a book is about anymore, they all look like paranormal romances.  Or America's Next Top Model rejects.

I'm calling you out, book designers, because the intelligent discourse clearly hasn't worked.  Quit your jobs and step aside for designers with actual talent.

Or else someone come forth and 'splain it if you can.

gah!!


*Books About Guys Even Though There's a Girl on the Cover and Same Photo, Different Book, to name a couple.

My Unfair Godmother

I am back on the book recommendation train, people! Because summer isn't over yet, thank goodness, and there is still time for fun reads.*

Perhaps you are that studious, well-behaved kid who sees moving in with your dad and his family for your senior year of high school as the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself.

As bad. Real bad. Dating a rebel with a motorcycle, eyerolling, sarcasm -- the whole ball of wax. Because your dad (who is a librarian, by the way) has never been there for you after the divorce, so why should you care what he thinks?


Then you get busted for spray painting city hall and being bad is starting to feel lousy. If only you could fix things. Like with magic, yeah, that's the ticket.


Sadly for our heroine, Tansy Miller, a lot more is going to go awry before she can make peace with her dad, his wife, her stepbrother, the mayor, and the police chief's hottie son. When her fairy godmother, Chrysanthemum Everstar, takes her on as an extra-credit project, Tansy rates 78% pathetic on the Pathetic-o-meter.  She has three wishes -- three chances -- to put her life on the awesome track.

                          I picked at my pillowcase dejectedly. "Money won't buy me friends."


                          "If you wish for enough, it will," Chrissy said brightly. "People like to say
                          they can't be bought, but they really can."

Tansy's wish-tasptrophe results in Robin Hood and his merry men holding up convenience stores all over town, a highly unpleasant trip to medieval England, and a nasty ex-fairy targeting Tansy and her future child.  Not to mention the police chief's son is still peeved with her.

It is all extremely hilarious.

                         



*Because you've finished all your required reading, haven't you? I knew you could!

Friday morning music video

Yeah, that's more or less how we roll.




Clean hands are important.

My fondest dream

is that someone will enter this contest and also let me be in their trailer.  Seriously, I'll play a yeti or anything.  You could win $1000! plus books for your school!

Maybe I should start a book trailer club, 'cause all I want to do is make book trailers all day.  And redesign crappy book covers.

 
So, you love the series, and I respect that, I do! and you know not having read the books, maybe there's some context that would make this more -- MY GOD PEOPLE! it's a crazy angel in the ocean like some sort of deranged perfume ad!  What exactly is he trying to do here, keep her feet dry?  What what was the marketing department smoking the day they signed off on this?  I ask you.

Absolutely. Especially when I am riding on the T.

Also, please note that the library books are free. But you can pretend to be a hood if it makes you enjoy the process more.

Teen Advisory Board meeting next Monday

That's November 29th at 6:00 pm. I'm just telling you now because we're all going to go into a turkey coma over the next few days.

Yes, TAB is an opportunity to gain some community service points as well. But no coasting, people! We're like the Marines of library programs -- we're looking for a few good teens. And any slackers will find themselves doing 50 pushups while balancing the complete "Princess Diaries" series on their shoulders.

Man, I need some pie...