Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Mo' money, mo' problems...

Even before the economy went kablooey, ordinary Joes have avidly followed the lifestyles of the rich and famous.  Love 'em or hate 'em, this socioeco-- [FULL STOP] ha ha who am I kidding, it is way more fun to hate 'em.  Here ya go.

You back?  Ready to read about the trials and tribulations of the superwealthy?

52 Reasons to Hate My Father by Jessica Brody
Lexington Larrabee is the poster child for spoiled brats: partying, drinking, throwing tantrums and crashing her $500,000 car into a convenience store.  Her father, who made his billions building a social media empire, sends his PR team to clean up the mess, while Lexi counts down the days till her 18th birthday, when she will inherit 25 million dollars and finally get to unwind a bit.

Except not.  Determined to make his daughter suffer unjustly (did any of her brothers have to go through this torment to get their trust funds?), Lexi's father tells her that before she gets her check, she has to work a different job every week for one whole year.  That's 52 weeks, 52 jobs.

And not, like, bearable jobs, like modeling or acting.  NO.  Lexi's been signed up for a manicure-destroying round of housecleaning, dishwashing, gravedigging...among other atrocities.  Her credit cards and bank accounts frozen, the jet grounded, denied all access to the family cars, Lexi is dependent on her father's intern, Luke, to ferry her to and from her assorted circles of hell and to generally make her life miserable.

My Lost and Found Life by Melanie Bowsher
This one's an old favorite of mine.  Ashley may not be attending red carpet events in custom-designed Karl Lagerfeld gowns, but she's still grown up getting what she wants when she wants it.  So she is less than pleased to get a visit from the cops, who tell Ashley that her mother is accused of embezzling a million dollars -- and now she's missing.

Then the lawyers show up.  And the bill collectors.  They take the car.  The furniture.  The house.  With no where to live, no idea where her mother is, and no money, Ashley scrambles to learn how to take care of herself, becoming a pretty admirable person in the process.

Confessions of the Sullivan Sisters by Natalie Standiford
The Sullivans are an old Baltimore family with old Baltimore money.  But that wealth is in hands of the Almighty, their word-is-law grandmother.  On Christmas Day the Almighty has an announcement to make: someone in the family has greatly offended her.  And unless she receives a written apology by New Year's Day the Sullivans will be cut off without a cent.

It had to be one of the girls.  So Norrie, Jane and Sassy each pen a full confessional.  Norrie fell in love with the wrong boy; Jane has been disclosing dark family history on her blog; and Sassy?  She worries she may be guilty of the worst crime of all.

The Sullivan sisters are not histrionic celebutards, so they are a whole lot more likable from the get-go.  And while they are out of the ordinary, the Sullivan family is not an emotionally bankrupt wreck -- they genuinely care for one another and are pretty funny as well.

I could not for the life of me think of a YA book starring a messed-up, richy-rich dude.  Maybe because you can't drop as many designer handbag references?  Anyhow, if you can think of one, please let me know.  In the meantime, we'll just have to make do with ol' Gatsby.

Now that was how to be rich, people.  Not that money can buy happiness, it just looks that way in HD.


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